I'm in a dayz

So I went shopping with my boss today. Shopping for new items for the house (vacuum, decorations, rugs, etc). It was fun! No more than five minutes after getting in her car she tells me she has something for me and I hear her say it like in a happy tone. So, naturally, I am excited and ask what it is. She pulls THE PAGER from her purse and says 'Here you go'. A big - U G H !

So now, gone are the dayz when I .................
- Could choose to shut myself off from the world.
- Could leave work and leave work.
- Could not have to think about the consequences if I made the decision to go out and 'thoroughly' enjoy myself. (Although while typing that I kinda thought that maybe I should have always been thinking about the consequences anyways and that maybe 'thoroughly' enjoying myself doesn't always have to involve getting intoxicated, which I think if I really think about it I ‘thoroughly‘ enjoy myself often regardless of intoxication. I guess it all depends on your (well, my) definition of ‘thoroughly‘.) moving on...
Gone are the dayz when I ........
- Didn't have to work on Sundays.
- Would go into work and not work.
- Complain about being bored to death at work.
- Could have my week planned and knew exactly what was going to happen everyday that week.

I refuse to let go the dayz when I ..........................
- physically move, other than regular day stuff, like going to the gym, taking a hike, walking around the block, doing yoga, etc.
- Pay attention to my family.
- Consciously make a hearty effort to eat fair and cleanly.

I do admit that these last 3 must do’s have waned. This depresses me and the only way to undepress myself will be to find a way to fit these things back in. I don’t even like saying ‘back in’ cuz I haven’t given up I just don’t do it as regularly. I was kicking ass for a little while there. Now it’s not as intense. Even my eating habits are suffering. I’m forgetting to eat and then coming home starving. Not good at all. Breakfast and lunch are so key to my fair way of eating. I must eat those two meals in order to give myself energy and strength throughout the day and especially if I think I’m gonna do any extra physical activity. This is how I stand a chance otherwise I get home pig out on anything I can find at the moment, eat some kind of supper, then park myself in front of the computer/tv because I'm too exhausted to do anything else. Good way to inbalance the whole metabolism routine. I feel I need to be fair to myself. Give myself sustenance on a regular basis (ie. breakfast/snack/lunch/snack/dinner). Not to say it needs to be so regimented but when you start going more than 3+ hours without eating your body starts wondering when it's going to get some attention. I also think eating cleanly while eating fairly is key. Eating whole grains and fiber and protein to maintain satiation. That’s the way a body works, pass it on!

Life has been changing A LOT in so many ways. At times I wonder if I’m ready for it all. I am. I have to be. Cuz it’s happening. I have the pager now. It’s really not about the pager. It just really hit home when she handed it to me. I’ve done the job before, minus any on-call (pager) responsibilities, but always turned it in when a new manager was found. BUT any little bit of authority that staff allowed me to bestow upon them at those times was minimal. This time is very different. No turning it in. It’s mine to have and to hold. And I’m hoping that everyone will realize that along with this comes the authority to make sure that things get done as they should. And it's not necessarily because I need to be in control but because I am in control and want to do my job well and that imparts delegation. So much responsibility. I do feel like I have a good support team though. Between my immediate boss and colleagues and husband. I’ll get it done. Promise!

My celebration for my new beginning consisted of…………….

Sushi

More sushi

Rainbow Martinis The soy/wasabi boat leaving when we were finished. :)

I welcome the dayz..........
- of new found confidence.
- Kyle's teenage years. (not sure if I'm really welcoming these as I am having to deal with them because I have no choice but so far so good)
- aging with GRACE (I hear she can be unpredictable at times)
- learning from constant changes.
- learning patience cuz I often will have no choice, I'm sure.

Good to have you gals to talk to. :) More later. Promise!