Here it is........

Kev and the sick little hummingbird.

I love my bush.

Today while sitting in my car, in my driveway, I saw a yellow and an orange finch. I also saw 2 hummingbirds! (These are obviously not pictures of the birds I saw. I just wanted to set some ambience for blogsake.) This is why I love my bush. That and it's just so beautiful and makes me smile warmly when I look at it. After seeing these things it didn't matter to me that there was no sun. The birds were playing and having fun. There was one big loud buzzing sound coming from the bush. This was from the hundreds of bumblebees hard at work. A couple of them dive bombed me. I think they thought I was going to mess with them.

This prompted me to hang up my hummingbird feeders. I could sit all day looking out for and watching hummingbirds. I wish I was able to capture some real pictures of them today but another time. Actually, we do have real pics of a hummingbird that Kev is holding. For some reason it was sick. We think it was beat up by it's brother or something. They get real territorial. Anyways, we took it in because it wasn't flying away. I'm surprised it didn't die immediately. The poor thing's heart must've been beating as rapid as it's wings usually go. So we took it in and kept it in one of those big rubbermaid bins. This is all we could find that was 'cage' like so Airiel wouldn't eat him. We kept it in our bedroom with the door closed and fed it sugar water. Although I know they feed off of more than that usually but at the time we really weren't sure what the problem was or what to do about it. About 5/6 days later we go in the bedroom to check on it and it's not in the bin! We knew it was around somewhere, but where? It was so exciting cuz this must've meant he felt better, enough to fly now anyways. We finally found him on a curtain, up top on the rod. We opened the window and it started flying around in the room. Which was scary because it's a small room and this bird has a needle beak. Finally it flew out the window and I think I cried just because it was all so moving.

Anyhow, that's my story for today. :) I'll look for the pictures.

Ha

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big fucking red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond. Dumb ass

Who's with me?

I am looking forward to this.............
http://www.sexandthecitymovie.com/
If you are too let's make a date. Kevin never goes to any movies in the theatre nevermind this one. I can go the night it opens or sometime that weekend.
Though I am not part of the minolo minions I will enjoy seeing the girls again. I am expecting it to bomb only because of the hype and the fact that we've all moved on. We'll see.

Look what I've been cooking up.......

This is what I made for dinner Sunday night. Homemade Pizza -

This one was spinach, tomato, garlic

This is a pic of it before I cooked it. It was so beautiful and notice in the background my own stuffed crust! I rolled the crust out too big for the sheet so I had extra and decided to place some of the fresh mozzerella I had in it.

These are pictures of it after being cooked (obviously!). Not as beautiful but still very tasty. Man was it delicious. I will definitely be making this again. I was unsure of how the fam would like the whole wheat crust but it went over well. The addition of fresh mozzerella and minced garlic was amazing.

This is a pic of the one I made for the boys. Their pallet isn't as sophisticated as mine. :) They wanted pepperoni on one side and mushroom and onion on the other. Voila!

Last night was a special night in our house. Kyle turned 13! He requested shepard's pie and garlic bread (Kevin's specialty). I also forced a salad on him since shepard's pie doesn't really have the greatest vegetable content. This was his idea of a birthday 'cake'. He loved it and his birthday present. We got him an electric guitar. I was nervous about what he would think about it. He was really surprised and said he would've never guessed it. I don't think he actually ever thought about playing the guitar before but now that he has it he seems really into it. He jumped right on it first thing this afternoon after school. And I figure it will give him something constructive to do when I won't let him play video/computer games.

I'm in a dayz

So I went shopping with my boss today. Shopping for new items for the house (vacuum, decorations, rugs, etc). It was fun! No more than five minutes after getting in her car she tells me she has something for me and I hear her say it like in a happy tone. So, naturally, I am excited and ask what it is. She pulls THE PAGER from her purse and says 'Here you go'. A big - U G H !

So now, gone are the dayz when I .................
- Could choose to shut myself off from the world.
- Could leave work and leave work.
- Could not have to think about the consequences if I made the decision to go out and 'thoroughly' enjoy myself. (Although while typing that I kinda thought that maybe I should have always been thinking about the consequences anyways and that maybe 'thoroughly' enjoying myself doesn't always have to involve getting intoxicated, which I think if I really think about it I ‘thoroughly‘ enjoy myself often regardless of intoxication. I guess it all depends on your (well, my) definition of ‘thoroughly‘.) moving on...
Gone are the dayz when I ........
- Didn't have to work on Sundays.
- Would go into work and not work.
- Complain about being bored to death at work.
- Could have my week planned and knew exactly what was going to happen everyday that week.

I refuse to let go the dayz when I ..........................
- physically move, other than regular day stuff, like going to the gym, taking a hike, walking around the block, doing yoga, etc.
- Pay attention to my family.
- Consciously make a hearty effort to eat fair and cleanly.

I do admit that these last 3 must do’s have waned. This depresses me and the only way to undepress myself will be to find a way to fit these things back in. I don’t even like saying ‘back in’ cuz I haven’t given up I just don’t do it as regularly. I was kicking ass for a little while there. Now it’s not as intense. Even my eating habits are suffering. I’m forgetting to eat and then coming home starving. Not good at all. Breakfast and lunch are so key to my fair way of eating. I must eat those two meals in order to give myself energy and strength throughout the day and especially if I think I’m gonna do any extra physical activity. This is how I stand a chance otherwise I get home pig out on anything I can find at the moment, eat some kind of supper, then park myself in front of the computer/tv because I'm too exhausted to do anything else. Good way to inbalance the whole metabolism routine. I feel I need to be fair to myself. Give myself sustenance on a regular basis (ie. breakfast/snack/lunch/snack/dinner). Not to say it needs to be so regimented but when you start going more than 3+ hours without eating your body starts wondering when it's going to get some attention. I also think eating cleanly while eating fairly is key. Eating whole grains and fiber and protein to maintain satiation. That’s the way a body works, pass it on!

Life has been changing A LOT in so many ways. At times I wonder if I’m ready for it all. I am. I have to be. Cuz it’s happening. I have the pager now. It’s really not about the pager. It just really hit home when she handed it to me. I’ve done the job before, minus any on-call (pager) responsibilities, but always turned it in when a new manager was found. BUT any little bit of authority that staff allowed me to bestow upon them at those times was minimal. This time is very different. No turning it in. It’s mine to have and to hold. And I’m hoping that everyone will realize that along with this comes the authority to make sure that things get done as they should. And it's not necessarily because I need to be in control but because I am in control and want to do my job well and that imparts delegation. So much responsibility. I do feel like I have a good support team though. Between my immediate boss and colleagues and husband. I’ll get it done. Promise!

My celebration for my new beginning consisted of…………….

Sushi

More sushi

Rainbow Martinis The soy/wasabi boat leaving when we were finished. :)

I welcome the dayz..........
- of new found confidence.
- Kyle's teenage years. (not sure if I'm really welcoming these as I am having to deal with them because I have no choice but so far so good)
- aging with GRACE (I hear she can be unpredictable at times)
- learning from constant changes.
- learning patience cuz I often will have no choice, I'm sure.

Good to have you gals to talk to. :) More later. Promise!

Growing up is hard to do.

The interview went extremely well. My immediate boss called me about 5 minutes after it was over, while I was driving away, to tell me what a great job I did. She is really pushing for me (or should I say pushing me) to take this job. I know she knows I can do it but I'm thinking she just wants to get someone in the position so that it frees her up. Which I don't blame her but I'm on the other end of it so I'm feeling real anxious about it. It's so much responsibility. Kev and I have talked about it and he's been really supportive. I've been outright crabby and spacey throughout the past 2 weeks. We've talked about how it would benefit the family - financially, but at the same time I believe it has the ability to not benefit the family - less time to spend with them, not as easy to take time off for vacations. I've made a mental list of the pros and cons but have yet to actually put them down on paper.

Pros
a sizeable jump in pay
more clout for my resume'
not as boring as my current position

Cons
a sizeable jump in responsibility
on-call all the time (except for vacations)
in order to get time off or a vacation it is my responsibility to manage it
no down time (sometimes boring is good)
40-50 hour work week (and sometimes more) compared to my 35 hour work week now
will probably miss out on doing some things (ie. camping, going out with friends, going to the gym regularly, etc.)

I'm going to need to get used to a new schedule. Sun-Thurs work week vs a Mon-Fri work week. Which I'm not sure goes in the cons list cuz I think I'll be okay with it once I get used to it. It will just be a bummer when Kev goes camping and I can't go. I'll still be able to go out to the campsite with him but I'll have to hike home Sat. night instead of sleeping over which won't be fun.
Is this all part of growing up? I feel if I don't take it I'm going to let a good opportunity pass me by but on the otherhand I've been working at this same house for 8 years and have seen 5 managers come and go. Am I sealing my fate? But even if I leave in 2 or 3 years I'll still have the experience under my belt that I won't have if I don't take it. I'm so distraught over this. And if I'm this distraught over it now is it going to go away or am I destined to be distraught for a long time to come because of the decision I make, either to take it or not.
'Be careful what you wish for' comes to mind. Not very long ago I really started thinking about finding a new job. I even filled out a couple applications but nothing came of them. Guess I got what I wanted.
I really hope that this grey cloud of uncertainty goes away.

Kev had the day off yesterday and I tried like hell to let it all go but I don't think it's in my makeup to be able to do that. My brain just automatically goes right back to the same thoughts of whatever it is that is major in my life at that time. I really wanted to just be free of my thoughts for a few hours in order to enjoy my time with him. I did enjoy having him around, although I'm not sure he enjoyed being around me. I wasn't mean I was just quiet, in fear of saying something mean. :) Arrrrgh!

And to make it a little more interesting this is all happening on the cusp of Kev changing shifts - winter to spring. At least I get to look forward to seeing him more, I think.
One more thing I've also thought of is that Ky is growing up too. Which at first I thought was another reason why I could take the job since he's more independent now and able to be on his own more. But should I really be giving a 'new to teenagehood' boy more time to himself or is this a recipe for disaster? I think if Ky wasn't the type of kid he is I would be a lot more concerned about this aspect of it. However I do think that I'm going to feel bad about him spending too much time alone.

Anyhow, on a lighter note, we (Kev and I) went for sushi in Boston last night. We checked out a restaurant on Newbury St., Shino Express. Very tiny, they probably can fit about 30 people in the small room. They pride themselves on being 'express'. Which they were. They have an assembly line of sushi chefs. They don't serve alcohol and last night I guess I saw that as a bad thing but I think they cater more towards business types needing quick lunch, not alcohol. And the best thing about this place was that they make their sushi with brown rice. Which made it a bit different tasting but in a good way. A bit sweeter almost. Some of their rolls, like the rainbow, I felt, had too much rice but you could always take some off. The prices were excellent. We spent $80 (tip included) which seems like a lot but remember I went with Kev and he tends to go over board and last night was no exception. We definitely had plenty of leftovers. All in all it was very good and we'd go again but not until we've checked out other sushi restaurants.
Afterwards we stopped at a bar/cafe' called Global. We sat and waited for a phone call. I got a G&T and got a hankering for a cream puff (shocking!) so I made a phone call to get directions to the North End where there is amazing pastry shops. We went to Mike's because this is the place we were told is the best. Although, if I go back to that area, I will definitely be checking out the other not as popular shops. Then we walked a million miles to get to where we were going. Ugh! I did feel better about not making it to the gym though. :)

Next interview on Wednesday with the Vice President of the agency.

More later.............